‘Thongs’ for the memories……

Thongs & Speedos – the stuff of nightmares, coming soon to a pool near you……

I’m off on P&O’s Ventura for an anniversary cruise round the med soon, and have been having nightmares about the ‘sights’ I may come across, sights that you wouldn’t find in any cruise brochure.  I’m talking about the dreaded thongs, and the ‘man in speedos’….

You’ve all seem them, standing loud and proud showing far too much flesh to be decent.  Young and old, fat or thin, men & women.  I have yet to see a man look ‘good’ in speedos, or a woman in a thong. (Myself included…)  Except in the pages of glossy magazines, where they’ve been airbrushed and tweaked to be acceptable to the eye.   They are an abomination and a crime against nature, fashion, the eyes, whatever.  Hideous!

Dont believe me?  Take a look if you dare, but I warn you, if you are of a sensitive nature, you may be offended…..

Like I said ‘Loud & Proud’……Not someone you would want to share a lift with or stand next to in the Buffet queue… and you must have seen them, speedos, t shirt and sandals, on the wrong side of decent….

We’ve all witnessed similar scenes…

Wrong on so many levels……

Here’s someone who should know better…… No amount of fame and celebrity can excuse this kind of exposure…

And if these images weren’t the stuff of nightmares check out a more modern contender for Crimes against Fashion….. The Mankini….

Words fail me….

And now for the Thong!

So before we pack our speedo’s, mankini’s and thongs, lets spare a thought for our fellow passengers, and dress appropriately for the pool and beach this summer,  to ensure they take away with them happy memories, and not nightmares!