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A funny joke for you

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    A funny joke for you

    Let's have a few jokes to cheer us up in a cold January.
    Here's one to start.

    An old lady goes up to the bar on a cuise ship and asks for a whiskey and two drops of water. When the barman gives her the drink she says today is my birthday, I'm 80 years old today. The barman says, in that case please allow me to buy you this drink. When she has almost finished the drink, the woman sitting next to her says please let me buy you a drink for your birthday. Many thanks she says I'll have a whiskey and two drops of water please. As she finishes this drink the man on the other side of her says I would also like to get you a drink. Many thanks, I'll have a whiskey with two drops of water please. When the barman gives her this one he says to her, I'm sorry but I've just got to ask, Why only two drops of water with your whiskey.
    Young man,she says, when you get to my age you know how to hold your liquor but to hold your water is another thing altogether.

    Now it's your turn.

    #2
    This fellow walks into a bar and goes 'OUCH'
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Cruisings Cool
    Last edited by Barrowman, Bedford; 2nd January 2010, 10:03 PM. Reason: Spelling
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    Cruisings Cool

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      #3
      It was an Iron Bar - OK
      -----------------------------
      Cruisings cool
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      Cruisings Cool

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        #4
        "OLD" is when your sweetie says,
        "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you have to say,
        "Pick one or the other,I can't do both!!"

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          #5
          one snowman to another snowman 'can you smell carrots?' !
          Helen

          the keeper Loobyloo, Hugo and Tinkerbell (the cats) and The Cluckingtons (the chickens)

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            #6
            Mary had a little lamb....So she shot the sheperd

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              #7

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                #8
                Lion and a Pig talking.

                The Lion sez to the pig "When I roar people run a mile"

                "Thats nothing said the pig "I only have to sneeze and people run a mile"
                -------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Cruisings Cool
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                Cruisings Cool

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Barrowman, Bedford View Post
                  It was an Iron Bar - OK
                  -----------------------------
                  Cruisings cool

                  The Goon Show, 1968. (or thereabouts)

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                    #10
                    The Devil walks into a crowded bar. When the people see who it is, they all run out except for one old man. So the Devil walks up to him and says " Do you know who I am?"
                    The old man slowly sips his beer and answers, "Yes I do." The Devil says, "Well then, why aren't you afraid of me?" The old man looks the Devil over and says, "Why the hell should I be scared? I've been married to your sister for 40 years !!"

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                      #11
                      An elderly lady was stood by the ships rail in a strong breeze, while holding onto her hat; her skirts blew up around her waist.
                      A man walking past said in her ear, excuse me madam when your skirt lifts with the wind, you are showing everything down below.
                      Young man she says, everything down below is 75 yrs old, the hat is brand new. :D

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                        #12
                        I like the one-liners - "Yes, but did you enjoy the PLAY, Mrs. Lincoln?". Or - "I don't care WHO your Dad is, you're not walking on this water when I'M fishing".

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                          #13
                          how does the mummy fire engine know where the baby fire engine is..............the baby engine says its me maw me maw.
                          my youngest daughters joke when she was 4 yrs old.
                          don't want to work, just want to cruise.

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                            #14
                            Another advantage

                            [QUOTE=Neil Down, Southampton;21160]

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                              #15
                              And never forget the 3 good points of Alzheimer's.....

                              1) You make new friends every day.

                              2) At Easter, you can hide your own eggs then hunt for them.

                              3) You make new friends every day.
                              Last edited by Fizban, Rhyl; 14th January 2010, 04:10 PM. Reason: Typo (Alzheimer's kicking in)

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