Fifty Shades Of Cruise

With the much anticipated release of the film fifty shades of grey due for release, I thought I would give you fifty shades of cruise.  Don’t get to excited ,  no sexy tit bits or bondage ideas but instead my fifty do’s and don’ts for behaviour on board your cruise holiday to ensure that you know everything you need to know to  have the best cruise ever……………..Enjoy !!

1. Dress appropriately – don’t rock up to dinner in your shorts and flip flops as this just won’t cut it.
2. Use your sunbed – if you lay your towel down on your sunbed and then go off for a two hour spa treatment and a bite to lunch is this really fare??? No it isn’t pick the towel up and I’m sure there will be a lounger available on your return.

3. Dont show off – no one wants to know how much you paid for your cruise , especially if you had the      deal of the century, just keep it to yourself.

4. be happy – you’re on holiday don’t forget to smile.
5. Drink in Moderation – just because you have the drinks package doesn’t mean you have to drink the bar dry.
6. Be considerate – if you are coming back from a late night of partying then try to keep the noise down in the corridors and especially outside peoples staterooms.
7. be polite – Staff on board cruise ships work really hard so please be polite to them and use your p’s and q’s…manners cost nothing.
8. Quantity, less is more – we all get excited at a buffet but do you really need three different types of cuisines on one plate just because it’s there. You can always go up and get some more but there is nothing worst then people wasting good food because eyes are too big for the tum.
9. Mingle – If you are sociable person then cruising is perfect as you can sit with different people at dinner and get to know everyone and even make some lifelong friends.
10. Dance like no one’s watching – I love going on cruises and watching the couple on the dance floor in sync with each other and giving strictly contestants a run for their money .It’s so romantic and very traditional.

11.Use your towel wisely , save the planet – if your towel is ok and has got at least another shower in it then fold it up and put it back on the rail. Just think how green you are being.

12. Don’t be a cruising snob – If you are disappointed and not enjoying the cruise try not to scream it from the staircases as some people on board maybe having the holiday of a lifetime and at least you know that next time it’s not the cruise line for you.
13. Pushing in – Don’t get too excited in queues, whether it be for dining or entering into the theatre. Everyone will get a seat and don’t forget were British we love to Queue!!
14. Age appropriate – If there are areas of ships that maybe quieter than others like an indoor pool area or library then maybe steer the kids over to the kids pool area and let them scream and shout to their hearts content.
15. Room service – Be mindful of what you’re ordering as again (maybe I’m a bit obsessed) the amount of leftover food on trays outside cabins cab be quite alarming. If you stumble back from the bar and fancy a burger then fall asleep maybe next time just wait until Breakfast.
16. Hand Hygiene – Remember to wash your hands after every trip to the loo. As we know germs can spread very quickly round ships so always make full use of the antibacterial hand wash dotted about everywhere also.
17. Get Off – If you are on a cruise then unless doing transatlantic you are going to be visiting some fabulous ports so make the most of it and go and venture off and have a look. It’s a perfect way to see the world in bite size chunks.
18. Cabin Etiquette – cabin walls can be very thin so keep this in mind when back to your base. Being woken up at 6am by next doors television is not the alarm call most people want while holidaying.
19. Have a plan – Try and make the most of the ship your on by seeing it all. Plan out your cruise trip and decide what you want to do each day. Most cruises will leave an activities letter in your cabin each night telling you what’s going on the next day.

20.Be sporty – the jogging tracks around cruises are a perfect way to walk of that extra piece of pudding you had at dinner the night before and there is nothing more refreshing then feeling the wind in your hair on days at sea.

21. be adventurous – Ships have so much choice when it comes to dining and venues to eat. Be wild and try a different dish every night….maybe something you’ve never had before.

22.Tipping – very personal choice but if you have had the cabin steward from heaven then why not reward him with a little bonus at the end of your cruise you know he has worked his socks off for it.

23. Don’t be afraid to ask – If you can’t decide what to have at dinner then ask your head waiter if he could bring out both dishes. They are very accommodating and usually happy to do this.
24. Pack well – make sure you know what plug adapters you need before you cruise, American or European, You have appropriate clothing especially if you are cruising to colder climates.
25. Take photos – A fantastic way to remember your holiday but also a great way of letting others see what the cruise was like. You can post your pictures on our website to share with everyone.
26. Don’t head straight to the buffet on day of embarkation as this is always the first place people head. Have a wonder round and then go down an hour later it should be much calmer.
27. Don’t take the lift if you don’t need to – Keeping fit on board will make you feel less guilty at dinner.
28. Arrange Spa appointments – this way you won’t miss out on really popular treatments as certain ones can get very booked up.
29. Try specially dining – Even if it’s just once while on board your cruise. It’s always nice to have a special treat and see what’s on offer.
30. Shore Tours – make sure you have a chat and decide what you definitely want to see while on your cruise. Some excursions have limited numbers so book these ones ASAP.
31. Don’t use your phone while at sea – it’s a fortune and can give you a nasty shock when you arrive home and get your phone bill.
32. Don’t skip the Muster drill – it’s very important and will provide the information you need in case of an emergency.
33. Make full use of your balcony – After all you’ve paid for it so some afternoons when you are in need of some peace and quite have a little nap out there it’s a little slice of heaven.
34. Sail away party – Try and attend this as there such good fun and sometimes you can feel like a real VIP if there is a band playing on dock to wave you goodbye.
35. Sunsets – If you get the chance to go up on deck one evening and watch a sunset then this is a must. Seeing the sun climb down in the horizon over the ocean is a truly beautiful sight.

36.Alarm call – You can usually set up a wakeup call from your room so if you have booked an excursion with an early start then I would strongly recommend to do this as they won’t wait for you if your booked on an organised tour.

37. Go Glam – Take full advantage of the formal nights. After all apart from wedding and Christmas parties when do you ever get the chance to get dressed up to the nines? Its fun and I love to see what everyone has on.
38. Don’t be shy – Cruising is a great way to bring out the best in you. If you fancy yourself as a bit of a Whitney (Or not!!!) get up on the Karaoke and give it a go or if there is a competition or a quiz get involved you will have so much fun.

39.Where a watch – AT ALL TIMES………..If you get off the ship for the day make sure you check what time the ship is departing because they will not wait and you will be stranded . Getting home without your passport because you have left it on the ship would be a complete nightmare.

40. Sunscreen – Don’t forget to slap this on on regular intervals, especially on days at sea because with the sea breeze blowing in your hair it can be very misleading and no one looks good like a lobster Larry!!!
41. Write a review – Good or bad, when you get back let us know about your cruise what you enjoyed and what wasn’t so great. It’s so helpful to other cruisers and can be easily done on our website.
42. Book on board – If you love your cruise that much and want to book another then do it on board and get some extra discount or on board credit for doing so. When you get home your agent can then take it over and still offer you there extra discounts and benefits so you will be quid’s in.
43. Check your cabin on departure – Don’t have the heart ache of leaving your favourite jewellery or personals in your cabin as trying to get it back once home can be a real hassle. I left a pair of boots in my cabin (under the bed I think) and I never saw them again………devastated!!!!
44. Fill out the questionnaire – If your steward asks you to fill out the questionnaire to rate their service then please do so. It really helps them and they get rewarded and promoted on this.
45. Ban the Bannisters – If possible try not to hold onto the bannisters while moving up and down the ship. They are the perfect breeding ground for Nuri virus and once struck down by this you will be confined to your cabin.
46. Don’t ignore the rules – If you’re a smoker use the designated areas when you light up. Don’t try and get all romantic and use candles in your room – everyone’s safety is at risk so think twice.
47. Research – before you set foot on a cruise look into it all in great detail. Pick the cruise line for you. If you are looking for a peaceful, relaxing cruise with small ship benefits then you’re not going to book the Allure of the seas in the school holidays. Book wisely.
48. Go and see a show – They are fantastic and some are even Broadway standard. They make a great evening entertainment activity and you will be left humming the tunes and songs for days to come.
49. Don’t drink too much the night before disembarkation – Most cruise lines want to get you off and out sharpish. You usually have time for a spot of breakfast but that’s about it and sometimes you may have to queue for a while to get off – all this with a hangover is not good, trust me.
50. And finally HAVE FUN AND ENJOY IT………..Cruising is such an amazing way to holiday and is really the best way to see the world in style.

If you have any more recommendations to add to my list then please feel free to do so.

#cruisewall