Seven of the Stupidest Things Ever to Happen on a Cruise

February 12, 2015

It’s okay to be new to cruising – everyone starts somewhere! No-one will laugh at you for asking questions and no-one minds if there are things you’re unsure of – but here are just a few stories about cruise passengers that raise a lot of questions for us, like “What were they thinking?”


1: Inside cabin with a sea view

One thing you might learn in the service industry is that some people are impossible to please. On one certain cruise, the crew had quite the amusing/tedious time explaining to a passenger that her inside cabin could not have a window looking out to sea.

For those not entirely versed in the ways of cruising, an inside cabin is – well – inside the ship, not touching the hull or outer walls of the vessel. As a result, being able to have a view of the sea would require tunnelling through the rooms of other guests – unless you’re on Royal Caribbean, where Virtual Balconies save the day.


The woman was quite annoyed when staff told her that her inside cabin simply could not, and would not have a window. Despite this, she demanded a window be installed and when she finally calmed she simply explained that she expected “better service next time.”


2: Don’t drop the anchor…

You don’t have to be an experienced sailor to know this one; what should you not do when sailing out at sea? Aside from “jump off” one of the main things we can think of would be “drop the anchor.” Apparently this passenger didn’t get the memo; after a few drinks aboard Holland America’s Ryndam, Rick Ehlert decided it would be a good idea to release the anchor at 5:30am.

Luckily the cruise ship came away entirely unscathed, however Rick was arrested on charges of attempting to “damage, destroy, disable or wreck a vessel.” Lesson two; watch how many glasses of wine you have with dinner…



3: Dance like no-one’s around

We all do it; behind closed doors when the curtains are drawn and the music is turned up we dance like there’s no tomorrow. After a few trips to the bar we’ll even happily do it on a cruise ship – but to do it literally whenever someone isn’t looking? Well that’s what this man sets out to do.

If you have your back turned, he will dance. For what reason? Apparently for the amusement of absolutely everyone except you, whom likely will not notice. The lesson this time? Watch out for those with disco fever – it can be contagious…


4: Why didn’t the Captain wait?

It’s the thought that sends the worrysome among us into a panic; what if the ship leaves port without us? A very scary proposition indeed, so the sensible thing to do would be to let the Captain know to leave a bit later than scheduled, right? Wait, no.

A couple on a Mediterranean cruise did just that – they predicted they wouldn’t be able to get all the necessary sightseeing done by the time the ship left port, so they left a helpful note for the Captain letting him know they would be two hours late. As one would expect, the Captain left at the scheduled time and the couple were very unhappy indeed, going so far as to call their captain “rude”. So, this lesson would be to make sure you stick to the ship’s schedule…



5: Man overboard?

Earlier we mentioned two things you should try not to do at sea: “Jump off” and “Drop anchor”. We’ve already had someone drop the anchor, so this would be the former…

So it looks like a lot of fun, assuming you don’t get too hurt hitting the water! The only problem is that this bit of fun actually ruined this cruiser’s holiday; he was promptly evicted from the ship. The last thing the crew needs is a phony “man overboard” alarm, so leaving this passenger at port seemed like the best decision. So if you want to make the most of your cruise, try not to jump off it…


6: “Cruise Ship Fun”

In our younger years (and for some of us, our later years) we’ve all played pranks. A fake spider, jumping out from behind someone, surprise watergun attack… These things happen. What we have here is… Something else entirely.

Under the guise of “Cruise Ship Fun” these teens (or young adults?) pull a number of “pranks” on their unsuspecting fellow cruisers, including such classics as; dangling jelly babies over the balcony, putting a bin on a lift and pretending to fall down the stairs. Comedy genius in its purest form.

A good lesson to follow: don’t do what these kids do, regardless of your age…


7: Cruise Questions Turned Cruise Comedy

In this video, MS Oosterdam’s cruise director Adena Sampson lists off some of her all-time favourite questions asked her by cruisers. If you’re going to aim for cruise comedy, it’s best to follow Adena’s example as opposed to our last video…

She touches upon classics such as “Do the crew sleep on the ship?” and a few others that we couldn’t even fathom asking.


So to all the new cruisers out there: don’t worry, cruising isn’t as hard as you think! As long as you follow our advice you’re guaranteed to have a great time sailing the high seas.