Fit to be a crew member?

I have listed a few quiet funny stories from cruise line’s crew.It’s all about the comunication between staff on board to the passengers
but it made me lough, I thought I will share with you, Here are some of the best ones:

1.Low IQ on the high Seas

(A cruise ship passenger approaches me at the purser’s main guest services desk.)

Passenger:“This sure is a big boat. I’ve been lost three times already today. Do you have a map?”

Me:“Yes sir, here you are. There are also maps and signs posted throughout the ship on the walls, and you can always ask our staff or crew for directions until you get the feel for the layout.”

Passenger:“Oh, you’ve got such wonderful crew! I don’t ask directions. I don’t want to seem stupid. How many people fit on this boat?”

Me:“We can carry just about 5,000 passengers and have a crew of nearly 2,000 people.”

Passenger:“And do the crew stay on board with us?”

2.Red or Blue?
I work for a cruise line. We ported in a small town where we were too big for the local harbor, so we had to tender the passengers ashore in smaller boats. The passengers are lining up to be issued a tender ticket so they could go ashore. The tickets just happen to be red or blue, but the colors don’t mean anything.)

Passenger: “What’s the difference between the red tickets and the blue tickets?”

Me: *joking* “Well the red tickets operate as a life preserver in case of an emergency, the blue tickets will turn to stone and take you straight to the bottom. You’ll have to decide among yourselves who gets what.”

(The entire line behind the passenger bursts into hysterical laughter, I’m having difficulty holding a straight face, but the original passenger is staring at me completely horror-stricken.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m joking…there’s no difference.”

Passenger: “Are… are you sure?!”

3. The Vacation of a lifetime?

(I check in cruise-line passengers before they board the ship; our port building is clearly on the ground, right off the street.)

Co-worker: “These are your key cards – they’ll get you onto the ship, and then into your room, and also–”

Woman: “You mean we’re not on the ship now?”

Co-worker: “No, ma’am.”

Woman: “Oh, good, because they sent me pictures and this doesn’t measure up!”


About Me

Hi, I am Tamir and I have been selling cruises for more than 20 years now. I love cruising and have experienced many different cruise lines and ships including Royal Caribbean, NCL, Cunard, P&O and many more! I specialise in Tailor Made packages which I very much enjoy doing and I can tailor…

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