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    No they would not. I’m very afraid, when the criticism begins I’ll say “sorry, you are mistaking me for someone who gives a sh1t”.

    cruises will come pin conversation. They have been told we can’t cruise again, but it has not registered. The last discussion ended with “well, if you are not booking anything, we’ll take the caravan to Harlech and you can have a week there”. Not even under anaesthetic. Wouldn’t you think chemo would mean I’m excused caravans?

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      Yes I would think so in the health you find yourself now. We do like our caravan holidays though. We go when we like, for as long as we like and where we like. It can be restful and if the weather is good its a bonus. Mind you, when the weather is good its nice anywhere isn't it?

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        True. I find caravans quite hard work. Probably because I’m not used to such a confined space. Plus, of course, if we borrowed their van they would have to tow it and would stay for a couple of days, I’m checking out hotels within a couple of hours drive for a couple of nights away on my week off chemo. Nidd Hall will be the first one. It’s lovely there. The Cotswolds is on the list, as is Exeter to visit family. Where is your favourite UK resort?

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          Went to the Lake District last year for the first time and loved it. Such a beautiful place most likely go back there again this year. I love lots of places in England and Wales. But its nice to find places you have never been for a change of scenery don't you think?

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            Yes, we haven’t done much on the east coast or the south east. It is a right pain to get there though.

            in laws comment? You’ve moved the patio table. No comment on the sofas, but asked why I’d had my hair cut.

            I have everything ready for dinner and I’m absolutely creamcrackered now. It has taken me all day, but I did it! Small achievements matter don’t they?

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              Since you didn't reply to my last suggestion,made last night, I'm not sure if you didn't like it, as the subject had changed early this morning. or maybe you didn't see it as it was on the previous page?

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                Yes, an achievement hope they appreciated it. But I expect it keeps you mind off of other things. Keeping busy usually does, doesn't it?

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                  Originally posted by Mariers2, Rushden View Post
                  You may not care to try my suggestion, but here goes. You don't have toplead fatigue.considering all the times you have made the effort ,they probably think that is normal, soif you've never done it before,give them a surprise and imagine you are a famous actress like Gloria Swanson; lie on the sofa, or settee with a throw over your legs and just put on a "helpless, frail" look. If you don't forwarn Alan, he will probably look and behave startled,which will help the illusion. Make a few apologies,and see what follows.

                  I remember you saying they didn't seem to take in what you told them about being ill, so maybe the sight of you lying there and NOT running around like a blue a***d fly might just shake them up a bit. Isn't it worth a go ? ( oh, if only you had a hidden camera in the room you could play it back when they had gone)
                  Thanks for the suggestion Marie. I tried being a bit helpless (I didn’t get the cheese and biscuits right away) no one noticed, they just carried on talking until I got the cheese. I have just come into the lounge for a quiet moment and been followed by mum in law wanting to know what’s wrong. No one asked if I wanted a cup of tea. Is that their way of telling me to get it myself?

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                    I don't know, they don't seem to be taking it in that you are ill. Are they trying to sweep the fact under the carpet and forget about it?

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                      I’m doing my best to get them to realise that I’m not going to recover. I’m get really upset when they try to plan things for me in summer. “You might feel better by then” does not help.

                      miserable day today, I think Dennis is going to be a real menace. What do you do all day with two old people when it is pouring down and blowing a gale?

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                        Send them to do a bit of indoor shopping. You could say it would be a nice treat for them to mix with others while the weather is so bad. What do you think ?

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                          Been to Dobbies at Atherstone. Nice garden centre, healthy looking plants and good range of fancy goods etc. Was that a good move?

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                            Yes, I would say so. Got you out of the house and less questions asked. But was very windy outside the garden centre

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                              Yes, windy and wet. We are going to our local pub/restaurant later. Eight of us, so I can sort of hide in a corner and be invisible. The in laws don’t see our daughter’s in laws very often, so shouldn’t they have a lot to talk about?

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                                Maybe it's time you asserted yourself and when your in law asks what's wrong, say outright that you want to know just WHY they are acting as though they don't know what is wrong. You might even ask them if they are among the people who try to deny the Holocaust didn't happen.

                                You are in the position to be saying what you feel, and I know you are capable of doing that. If you say nothing you will just continue to get frustrated, and that certainly will not help you. Won't it be interesting to see the look on their faces ?

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