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Sign of the Times?

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    Sign of the Times?

    Hi Every one

    A friend of my daughters has just posted on Facebook to ask other mums what age was appropriate for her 10 year old daughter to go to the park with her friends. She had told her 'no' but then wanted to see if other parents were letting theirs. Most of them said 'Not yet, they're to young'

    I find it so sad, that in this day and age children don't play out. Is it really that much worse than when mine were that age, 12 years ago my youngest was 10.

    I wonder if that is why bullying seems to be so much worse now, kids don't know how to play except on line

    .................................................. ......................................Carol

    #2
    Originally posted by carol, welwyn garden city View Post
    Hi Every one

    A friend of my daughters has just posted on Facebook to ask other mums what age was appropriate for her 10 year old daughter to go to the park with her friends. She had told her 'no' but then wanted to see if other parents were letting theirs. Most of them said 'Not yet, they're to young'

    I find it so sad, that in this day and age children don't play out. Is it really that much worse than when mine were that age, 12 years ago my youngest was 10.

    I wonder if that is why bullying seems to be so much worse now, kids don't know how to play except on line

    .................................................. ......................................Carol
    Ok I am puzzled.

    We never had a park nearby - we didn't need one

    I played on building sites in my pre-school days and a group of us used to climb the braes if we were at a loose end.

    We were always back in time for tea and the funny thing was none of use wore a watch.

    If kids don't play outside, I don't blame the kids and no I don't believe it is more dangerous now than it was.

    I accept there are regional variations.

    Annie
    Last edited by annie, Glasgow; 7th July 2017, 12:06 PM.

    Comment


      #3
      My daughter, now aged 42, did not have the freedom that I enjoyed as a child. Roads are busier, neighbourhoods largely deserted during the day, drug and alcohol abuse now rife. Times have changed and not for the better. Might I suggest that the parents take turns to supervise the kids at the park. Of course, some ten year olds are more streetwise than others. The mum is the best person to judge.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Cooke, Ashby View Post
        My daughter, now aged 42, did not have the freedom that I enjoyed as a child. Roads are busier, neighbourhoods largely deserted during the day, drug and alcohol abuse now rife. Times have changed and not for the better. Might I suggest that the parents take turns to supervise the kids at the park. Of course, some ten year olds are more streetwise than others. The mum is the best person to judge.
        Fair comment Judith for your part of the world. How do children become street-wise?

        I can happily report that in my neighbourhood that kids still play on the streets despite heavier traffic.

        Annie

        Comment


          #5
          What a minefield from a simple question?

          Like many I was a child in the days when parents were considered cruel if they didn't let their kids play out as soon as they could realistically stand up. Yes their were risks, accidents and many other challenges, but nobody doubted their neighbours honesty and intentions.

          I am not qualified to say what is a safe age in today's world and would not presume to tell any parent or grandparent how to keep their child/grandchild safe since my 2 are grown and gone.

          However one consequence of the concerns of parents is that well intentioned actions by adults like myself is so easily challenged that I have to force myself not to be a caring "neighbour".

          The first time I realised this was several years ago when I saw a teenage girl just miss a bus and I stopped to offer her a lift to the bottom of the hill. She kindly, and correctly, rejected my offer and as I pulled away I realised what a stupid thing it was to do, but it had been a totally automatic action.

          A second incident occurred years later when I was driving down a dark local lane (about a mile long) late on a Saturday night. I went past two teenage girls who were walking in the dark. Automatic reaction was to stop and offer a lift but this time my thought was "No Way" - If they rejected the offer and made a note of my reg no imagine the reaction.

          So please do not see every old man as a pervert, just be sure you coach your children well on tactfully saying no.

          Cheers

          Tony B

          Comment


            #6
            Hi Carol. I was brought up on an inner London council estate from the age of 3. It was a safe environment where parents of all of us kept a watchful eye on where we played together.

            My kids were brought up in a London suburb. We didn't allow the kids to play outside in the street but we always had the kids and their friends playing in each other's gardens. The nearest park was at least a half mile away but if they and their friends wanted to go, then one of us would take them.

            We didn't allow our kids 'off the leash' until they were about 13 but they were fine with that.
            Jill

            Comment


              #7
              Sadly times have changed. Although I enjoyed playing out & had a great deal Of freedom my own children were more carefully supervised by either myself or one of the other Mums (or Dads). One very sad incident occurred in my local shopping centre recently. An elderly gentleman who has many grandchildren & great grandchildren, was out shopping when he saw a young boy crying that he had lost his Mummy. Without thinking the man caught hold of the little boys hand to take him to security in the shop only to be accosted viciously by the Mother when she saw them! She continued to shout & swear at him shaking him up badly. What an awful sign of the times.

              Comment


                #8
                I'm lucky in that I live in a Cul-de-sac so my children could play out from a relatively young age, it was also new when I moved in, along with other families with children the same age. Our park is a couple of minutes walk away, and no roads to cross, which is the same for the families that live here now.

                I just think it's a shame that things have changed that much, and parents are to afraid to let their children out........................Carol

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Kernow57, Cornwall View Post
                  Sadly times have changed. Although I enjoyed playing out & had a great deal Of freedom my own children were more carefully supervised by either myself or one of the other Mums (or Dads). One very sad incident occurred in my local shopping centre recently. An elderly gentleman who has many grandchildren & great grandchildren, was out shopping when he saw a young boy crying that he had lost his Mummy. Without thinking the man caught hold of the little boys hand to take him to security in the shop only to be accosted viciously by the Mother when she saw them! She continued to shout & swear at him shaking him up badly. What an awful sign of the times.
                  Yes I've heard of that happening on a few occasions. My OH won't even go near a crying child, he says you deal with it, very sad........Carol

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by carol, welwyn garden city View Post
                    I'm lucky in that I live in a Cul-de-sac so my children could play out from a relatively young age, it was also new when I moved in, along with other families with children the same age. Our park is a couple of minutes walk away, and no roads to cross, which is the same for the families that live here now.

                    I just think it's a shame that things have changed that much, and parents are to afraid to let their children out........................Carol
                    It is the parents who are afraid.

                    Annie

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Kernow57, Cornwall View Post
                      Sadly times have changed. Although I enjoyed playing out & had a great deal Of freedom my own children were more carefully supervised by either myself or one of the other Mums (or Dads). One very sad incident occurred in my local shopping centre recently. An elderly gentleman who has many grandchildren & great grandchildren, was out shopping when he saw a young boy crying that he had lost his Mummy. Without thinking the man caught hold of the little boys hand to take him to security in the shop only to be accosted viciously by the Mother when she saw them! She continued to shout & swear at him shaking him up badly. What an awful sign of the times.
                      Parents again !

                      She was probably angry with herself that she had lost her son.

                      Annie

                      Comment


                        #12
                        My dear departed FIL lived near a primary school and every morning pottered in his garden as the kids passed by on their way in, He always chattered to them Having dementia it did seem to make him happy having a chat ,He started to keep some sweets to give to them and was heart broken when we explained why he could not give them sweets any more, It was hard for him to comprehend that men were so evil to children. He stopped going out in the AM and PM when the kids passed by. So sad. Jan.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by toshtosh, Guiseley View Post
                          What a minefield from a simple question?

                          Like many I was a child in the days when parents were considered cruel if they didn't let their kids play out as soon as they could realistically stand up. Yes their were risks, accidents and many other challenges, but nobody doubted their neighbours honesty and intentions.

                          I am not qualified to say what is a safe age in today's world and would not presume to tell any parent or grandparent how to keep their child/grandchild safe since my 2 are grown and gone.

                          However one consequence of the concerns of parents is that well intentioned actions by adults like myself is so easily challenged that I have to force myself not to be a caring "neighbour".

                          The first time I realised this was several years ago when I saw a teenage girl just miss a bus and I stopped to offer her a lift to the bottom of the hill. She kindly, and correctly, rejected my offer and as I pulled away I realised what a stupid thing it was to do, but it had been a totally automatic action.

                          A second incident occurred years later when I was driving down a dark local lane (about a mile long) late on a Saturday night. I went past two teenage girls who were walking in the dark. Automatic reaction was to stop and offer a lift but this time my thought was "No Way" - If they rejected the offer and made a note of my reg no imagine the reaction.

                          So please do not see every old man as a pervert, just be sure you coach your children well on tactfully saying no.

                          Cheers

                          Tony B
                          Hi Tony

                          A totally different take on this.

                          I incorrectly ass-u-med parents might have been fearful of their children mixing with inappropriate adults.

                          How about the kids getting up to 'high jinx'?

                          On that I can't comment as I don't know the children.

                          Annie

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by annie, Glasgow View Post
                            Hi Tony

                            A totally different take on this.

                            I incorrectly ass-u-med parents might have been fearful of their children mixing with inappropriate adults.

                            How about the kids getting up to 'high jinx'?

                            On that I can't comment as I don't know the children.

                            Annie
                            As you have said that you don't have children Annie, how can you be qualified to comment at all?
                            Jill

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Smith7 View Post
                              As you have said that you don't have children Annie, how can you be qualified to comment at all?
                              I was a child.
                              I was one of a large family.
                              I was involved in youth work.
                              I am a respite carer.
                              I have 17 nieces and nephews.

                              I am a caring adult with pretty good instincts. I am also part of a caring community.

                              Annie
                              Last edited by annie, Glasgow; 7th July 2017, 01:21 PM.

                              Comment


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