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Your biggest obstacle

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    Your biggest obstacle

    Hi all. Hope I don't depress the forum with this one. I'm not looking for sympathy by the way. It's unusual for me to be on here at this ungodly hour.
    I'm fortunate enough to have a great life but today is the day of my mum's funeral. Obviously I'm gutted but I try to see it as one of those obstacles you have to face in life and I'll somehow beat it. It made me wonder. What's the biggest thing you've had to face in life and how did you win?

    #2
    Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about your Mum. Hope the day goes smoothly at least and she gets the send-off you want for her.

    I've often found that seemingly insurmountable obstacles that feel life changing at the time can be adapted to eventually and not feeel as big a deal anymore. I guess it's the "time heals all wounds" sort of thing.

    You'll be in my thoughts today.
    Last edited by dst87, Falkirk; 26th September 2016, 09:13 AM.
    Duncan S

    See my blog!

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      #3
      I'm so sorry to hear this. I lost both my parents within 3 years of each other while I was still in my thirties. I hope today goes smoothly for you. Try to focus on all the good times you shared.
      My thoughts are with you.

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        #4
        I'm very sorry for your loss. Somehow you will find the inner strength to get through today.
        When my mother-in-law died very suddenly at the other end of the country about 15 yrs ago , it was the first time any of us as adults had to deal with such an ( I want to say grown up) event. None of us knew what to do!

        Ill be thinking of you today, remember the good times and take a moment for yourself.
        BIG SHIPS, little ships, small world

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          #5
          I'm sorry for your loss. I can empathise having lost my mum some years ago and my dad more recently. Funerals are very hard for family and friends. You just have to get through it.

          You asked about dealing with obstacles in life. Mine was a cancer diagnosis, which was devastating. However, that was the worst bit. My first surgeon, who undoubtedly saved my life, was kind, caring and reassuring. He referred me to an other consultant who was equally positive about the prognosis, since the cancer was very early stage. I had the operation two weeks later, being admitted on Wednesday 15 September and discharged on Friday 17 September six years ago. I had regular checks for four years before being discharged. I thank God every day for my good fortune.

          My friend bought a little book for me titled "this too will pass". It's a good attitude, if you can manage it. I'll be thinking of you today. Judith

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            #6
            I am so sorry for your loss I will be thinking of you, my mother died when I was 34 years old and expecting my last son, it is such an emotional time, I am 74 now and still think of her every day, further down the line my husband was diagnosed with liver cancer, but is still positive after four years and still enjoying cruising whle the doctors keep an eye on him , take cAre. CG
            sigpic

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              #7
              Ooh bless you, thinking of you.

              I've had to bury my daughter at age 2, she lost a very short battle with leukemia. This was 30 years ago, at the time I had a 4 year old and just put everything into him, and was lucky enough to go on to have two more children.

              Seven years ago my younger sister aged 43 lost her battle with Ovarian cancer after a 3 year struggle. I managed to read a poem that I wrote my self out at her funeral. Don't know how I did it but I'm so glad I did. I really miss her.

              Any way enough about me, today will be very hard for you, but don't hold everything in, and if people offer you help, take it.
              Thinking of you............................................... .......................Carol xx

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                #8
                Sincere coondolences, it's unbearably tough and I will be thinking of you.

                I can only say it does get easier to live with in time and our loved ones live on with us as we carry them in our hearts. x

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                  #9
                  My husband died relatively quickly after receiving his diagnosis of cancer, much quicker than even the worst prognosis, hastened by the surgery performed in an effort to ease him. He left me with a two boys 22 and 17, and a badly drawn up will which made reference to non exstent funeral plans and making me guardian of my own children!!!! The eldest of whom was 21 when the will was written!! Those were the least problematic clauses! The resulting kerfuffle over the rest has ensured our estrangement, from his family. He did have time to arrange his own funeral which after his death left me with very little to do except brood over the will, and the service itself was very traditional, impersonal and left me very cold and unmoved.

                  Eight months later my younger brother was killed by an ex neighbour with mental health problems. He had moved 20 years earlier to the opposite end of the country and we had lost touch. It was some 6 weeks before his body was released for burial, and we depended heavily on hos network of friends to arrange a suitable send off.

                  Last year my father diied. Suddenly (thankfully) but at the respectable age of 80. His funeral was a doddle compared to the other two. I'm afraid I was quite short with the receptionist at the funeral directors when she (to my mind) rather patronisingly said how well I was dealing with it. After all, this was the one funeral I was expecting to arrange at some stage in the not too distant future.

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                    #10
                    Condolences on your loss.

                    Funerals are one of those events many of us steel ourselves through. I was 4 when I attended my 1st family funeral - that of a sibling.

                    I have attended extended family funerals from a child to someone who was the same age as that of the Queen Mother - funerals of young persons are so much harder.

                    My father's funeral was unforgettable - so much laughter. There had been an exceptional snowfall overnight delaying the arrival of most of the mourners but he was there on time. The funeral wreaths were frozen. The few of us who made it on time started to tell all those funny stories of my father and there were more than a few. When the service started, the tears did flow but we celebrated his life as well.

                    Remember and lean on those who offer assistance.

                    Take care

                    Annie

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by cornish girl, falmouth View Post
                      I am so sorry for your loss I will be thinking of you, my mother died when I was 34 years old and expecting my last son, it is such an emotional time, I am 74 now and still think of her every day, further down the line my husband was diagnosed with liver cancer, but is still positive after four years and still enjoying cruising whle the doctors keep an eye on him , take cAre. CG
                      Sorry for your loss, and I hope the day goes smoothly.

                      My mother died just before my 28th birthday and two weeks before my due date with my second daughter. I would say that was one of the most difficult times in my life. It took a long time to get over that, partly because she was only in her 50s and partly because I think I must have been quite hormonal.

                      My father is in declining health at the moment, but he is three days off of his 94th birthday. When the end comes it will be upsetting, but I know that it is part of the cycle of life.

                      Take care of yourself. I do know that the middle of the night/early hours are a very lonely time.
                      2018-
                      Queen Victoria - Mediterranean Explorer

                      2019 -
                      NCL Getaway - Norway and Iceland
                      Adventure of the Seas - Fall Foliage

                      2020 -
                      Jewel of the Seas - Abu Dhabi & Dubai
                      Magellan - Panama Canal

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                        #12
                        I'm so so sorry for your loss but I am pleased that you felt able to share how you are feeling on here. We can all give you a virtual hug and be here to offer support and sympathetic words.

                        If i start on obstacles I'd say 2016 and I can't wait for it to bloody finish. To say it's our worst year ever I don't mean that lightly seeing as my mum died of cancer on my 21st birthday.

                        What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and all that!

                        Take care, just put one step in front of the other and don't be surprised when the grief now truly hits after all the planning and arranging is finished and those close to you get on with their lives.
                        Keep chatting to us on here if it helps you. Xx

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I hope the day went the best it possibly could. I am so sorry for your loss.
                          My biggest obstacle... My mam was given 6 weeks to live, (pancreatic cancer) She was desperate to see my youngest son married, we brought the wedding forward to the 4th of August. Registery office wedding, reception at my house.
                          I was nursing my dying mam and arranging a wedding.
                          She took a turn for the worst and died 2 days before the wedding, the wedding went ahead. I really don't know how I got through that weekend. On the following Monday, the undertaker was at my house arranging the funeral, when I got a phone call to say my 39 year old brother in law, suddenly collapsed and died in his GPs surgery. (Aneurysm)
                          So within the space of 14 days, I hosted a wedding reception, my mam died, had her wake and my brother in laws wake at my home. I was in a daze for a few weeks afterwards.
                          I won, because I had no choice..I had teenage children, a job, a husband. Life goes on.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            So, so sorry to hear of these bereavements and illnesses.
                            My biggest trauma ever was the Cumbrian shootings in 2010, when I was told that someone had been shot outside my house, and we all presumed it to be Gavin.I turned to ice, a feeling I remember well, but have not experienced since. Because everyone else was also in shock, it was so difficult. 12 people were killed that day, the majority being former parishioners of ours, or neighbours and close friends. Many more were injured. No other tragedy has affected me as much.
                            Jo.

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                              #15
                              I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It's never easy but the pain does go eventually. My mother in law died in June 1997 after a long illness. Five days later my father died, also after a long illness. Mrs M and I were setting up a business at the time and it knocked us sideways. But the worst time was 7/7 when my elder son was on one of the London Underground trains bombed that day. I used to take exactly the same train journey to work that he did so knew there was a likelihood that he'd be on one of them. The mobile phone networks were shut down and it was 4 hours before we found out he was safe. I was awaiting open heart surgery at the time and had been told to avoid stress. That was the longest and most stressful 4 hours of my life.

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