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When you wish you had not spoken at all

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    #16
    Wiggy words

    For some unknown reason at dinner on a ship a converstation cropped up about comedy shows, and having had a little too much wine I got rather giggly over an episode of Fools and Horses that I was relaying to the other diners at our table of eight. I kept going on about Del Boy trying to sell men's toupes which he called syrup of figs, and what a scream the show had been. Horror of horrors it then dawned on me that not one but two men at the table were wearing the most unconvinving, matted hair pieces you have ever seen and weren't actually laughing along with the rest of us. Oh, how I wanted the ground or sea in this case to open up and swallow me!

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      #17
      My ex-wife worked as a nanny and during her employment made these several bloopers which I will share with you.
      1. While observing little baby on changing mat with mother she made the statement " look at her kicking her little back legs"! :o
      2. Similar occasion, the comment this time was "ahhhh she looks almost human!!!"
      3. Same job, and while out shopping, they pull into a parking space and ready themselves for the expedition. "Shall i get the wheelchair out of the boot?"

      Needless to say she didn't last long in that job! And i am now very happily remarried!
      www.wansbroughs-cruise-blog.me.uk

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        #18
        THings that I have said that I wish I had not....
        WILL YOU MARRY ME....
        I DO !!!
        YOUR BUM LOOKS BIG IN THAT DRESS..
        hOW MUCH !!!!!!
        INVITE YOUR MOTHER...
        YOUR WARDROBE DOOR WONT SHUT, PERHAPS YOU NEED TO SORT OUT YOUR OLD CLOTHS..( THAT ONE COST ME A FORTUNE !!)
        YOU WONT FIT THAT LOT INTO YOUR SUITCASE...( THAT COST ME MY SPARE JACKET )
        MOVE OVER TO THE LEFT SIDE OF THE BOAT, WHY SHE ASKS, BECAUSE I NEED SOME EXTRA BALLAST ON THE PORT SIDE ( OUCH !!!)
        WHY DO YOU WEAR SOCKS IN BED ??
        YOU LOOK BETTER IN A ONE PIECE SWIMSUIT ( DOUBLE OUCH !!)
        FANCY AN EARLY NIGHT ??
        DO YOU LOVE ME ??
        WE CANT AFFORD IT !!!
        I HAVE HAD CAUSE TO REGRET SAYING ALL OF THE ABOVE, SOME MORE THAN OTHERS !!!

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          #19
          Crusinman I love this! And I do like I man who can learn by his mistakes You can of course redeem your self by saying "Darling we need a lovely break away together, lets book a cruise!" works for me everytime:D..Carol

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            #20
            Originally posted by Guy, Ormskirk View Post
            Crusinman I love this! And I do like I man who can learn by his mistakes You can of course redeem your self by saying "Darling we need a lovely break away together, lets book a cruise!" works for me everytime:D..Carol
            Took your advice, it worked fine untill she noticed that the cruise was to the Arctic.....Still you cant win em all I suppose, the thought was good......Pehaps I should try flowers ?? at least they wont hurt as much as a rolled up cruising brochure in the ear !!!!

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              #21
              Whaatt!! I am packing my bags, I will come with you instead. The Northern ones are some of my favourite destinations. Tell her to think herself lucky I got Susan Boyle and a new car radio, Boo Hoo:mad:..Carol

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