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Me and the pearly queen
12 of 23 people found this review informative
 
Reviewed By: Geezer, Yeovil on 4th Feb 2012
Cruise Line: Royal Caribbean Cruises Times cruised before: 10+
Cruise Ship: Navigator of the Seas Sailed: January, 2012
Destination: Caribbean Age: 56-65
Cabin: Suite
Me ‘n’ the pearly queen.
When we decided on a cruise on a ship with the population of ‘Ackney I faught we’d be in bover but it was mostly alright. We worried abart all the posh people and felt that we might feel owt of place but we fitted right in. Miami airport was a pain in the derriere wiv the passport blokes keeping around 3000 of us waiting for 2 and a half hours. When we got to the desk my pearly queen thought she would be all smiley like and not how she really felt after a 9 hour flight. The passport geyser took abart 40 seconds to say “welcome to America, you look a lot happier than last time you were here”. Note to self always arrive a day early you never know what may happen.
We booked late so found our own way the ship. We ad our cases, cabin bags and stuff wiv us but could find nowhere to leave it. There was a pile of cases lying about the key side, well anyone could’ve knicked em! We were told the porters would look after them, they’d have lasted bout three minutes around’ ere. We weren’t about to leave our stuff so we joined the queue, cases and All. The only problem was oiking them onto the scanner but after that we just wheeled them along. Getting on board was quick and we ‘ad our bags so were in our room unpacked and at the bar by free’oclock, magic.
We did the muster fing around five, a good job after that Italian problem. Unlike over ships you did not have to take your , big, solid, bright orange Mae West thing with you but unlike the airline ones you don’t have to top it up wiv air if you start sinking.
We ad a “junior suite” wiv lots of room, and a walk in wardrobe abart the size of our 2 lodgers room and a bit artside were we could sit and ave a drink. The ship was amazing they even ad an old motor on the shopping parade and a boozer a bit like my local “The Prince and the Horse” . They had a guy in there who sang folk songs and stuf wiv just im and his guitar and even knew some old irish ones which sung on request. He was even more enfusiastic if you bought im a red wine. The atmosphere was good but no proper ale on tap that I saw but they did ave bottled stuff and lager on tap which under the circumstances was fine.
The windjammer was like Camden market on a bank oliday but we kepped away from sensible breakfast and lunch times, being on holiday and al, we lingered in bed a bit longer and set the whole day back a bit timewise. We only just made it before the gap between breakfast and lunch a couple of times so we did not ave to wait half an our wivout food. We were worried abart dining as we did not know what sort of people we would get on our table and if they would ave table manners or not. Apart from the Yanks cutting their food up and then putting the fork in their right hand to shovel it in all was fine. Why do they do that? they can cut it with the fork in their left, why can’t they shovel it in with that hand as well. We were on board 2 weeks so ad 2 lots of table mates ranging from gobby young lady who worked in investments, through an uptight Canadian lady, a young family to a modest model turned agent who looked a bit like a slightly older, Japanese Gabrielle Solis from Desperate housewives. All were good table company.
On the first 2 formal nights we put on our glad rags (we do not appen to ave the pearly stuff so DJ and frocks) but by week 2 mine would not do up. It did not matter as only abart half the ship bovered. In the Windjammer shorts were still very much on display, it would ave been alright if it had been the women but…… Tried “Chops” one nite, the service was traffic wiv just abart one bloke per table. Forty quid did seen a bit much for the service we used to get 25 years ago but it was awlrite.
Royal Carabean ave got it all sewn-up. A captive market both on the boat and in 2 of the ports. The street traders don’t ave to look out for rossers as they ave to pay RCCL to get on site. Haiiti was amazing but apart from sitting on your bum on the gorgeous beeches and eating the food everyfing else cost, like the zip-line, floating matresses or the roller coaster. The guys wiv the cameras recon they ave to get a “quota” even if you don’t buy the pics they are expected to take so many. It may ave been porkie pies but we were a bit more likely to let them do their thing after we were told that.
The pearly queen and I like the people from north America but we did get a bit miffed when the lift stopped at every level for some lardy ex-colonial to travel up or down one floor. Whats wrong wiv the apples and pears? Na then, my missus can tal,k but at times some groups of around 8 could not stop. Spannish is not my thing but does it take 50 words to say something that should only take 5. And why is there never a gap, does it ave to be stuffed with something. We moved a couple of times on deck after the PQ got “mental indigestion” from the audible onslaught to ‘er lugoles. Luckily even wiv so many people there was always room.
They had given us “diamond” level for our trips wiv there sister cruise companies which came wiv some perks. A discount voucher book which we used very little of, tea and coffee in the room, a couple of drinks parties and little shows plus free wine, champagne and soft drinks for a couple of hours in the dungeon until 8:30 each night. The bar flies in there were all experienced cruisers and good company. There was not always a “guard” on the door so I think a few geezers sneaked in but then the “guard became a regular feature. Another good thing about the grade was a section of the dining room set aside for breaky. More staff and proper coffees.
All in all a good trip wiv a full selection of classes, ages and nationalities. We were alright watching the belly flop competition and Quest where teams ad to do fings like make the longest bra line or demonstrate their favourite porn position. The daily thing did warn it was for adults only.
For the posh folk there was the shows, the ice one being great. The games room was well attended, the murder meal in Portafinos was enjoyed by all who went and there was always the champagne bar which was quiet or wine tasting in the wine bar.
Quality of Food2
Entertainment2
Shore Excursions2
Staff2
Children's Facilitiesn/a
Onboard Activities2
Cabins2
Overall Rating2
12 of 23 people found this review informative
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Comment by Rogerson, Hamilton (05 Feb 12 13:32) about this REVIEW
From your star rating I thought your review was going to be a list of how terrible things were, but apparently not??
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Comment by reed, skegness (05 Feb 12 09:31) about this REVIEW
I am sure you are proud of your Hackney roots and your unwillingness to use the same language as everyone else. It is a good job I was not sharing your table - iIwouldn't have understood a word you said. Is it possible you could use the services of an interpretter to post your review in English?
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Comment by Geezer, Yeovil (05 Feb 12 11:19) about a COMMENT by reed (05 Feb 12 09:31)
Ah I am so pleased that mazarinade was not lost on the proletariat.
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Comment by Porter, Llandrindod Wells (03 Mar 12 07:25) about a COMMENT by Geezer (05 Feb 12 11:19)
Nice One.
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Comment by Francis Albert, Royston (07 Feb 12 17:25) about a COMMENT by Geezer (05 Feb 12 11:19)
lol - quality! I'll be looking out for more of travelogues...
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Comment by Geezer, Yeovil (07 Feb 12 19:44) about a COMMENT by Francis Albert (07 Feb 12 17:25)
Hi Glad you enjoyed it, which, the bad grammar in the put down or the item? Not quite my views and also not sure about an assumed voice. The inspiration was an article in the Times by the chairman of RCCL who stated, "the average income for people on our cruises is $25000". This struck me as an absurdly low figure and made me wonder about the people we would see on-board when we cruised a week or so later. No problems as it happens. See "Nice cruise but" by Forster, Sherborne for the same cruise. My pics are still on the latest photos.
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