Fresh versus frozenAboard low-priced cruises, you will typically be served portion-controlled frozen food that has been reheated. Fresh fish and the best cuts of meats cost the cruise lines more, and that cost is reflected in the cruise price. Aboard some ships, the “fresh” fish – often described as “Catch of the Day” ( but which day?) – has clearly had no contact with the sea for quite some time. Sushi bars are the latest fad but, in 90% of cases, fish used in sushi (with rice) is cooked, and raw (sashimi-style, without rice) fish is not available, as storage and preparation facilities are inadequate. The only ships with auth­entic sushi bars and authentic sushi/ sashimi are Asuka II, Crystal Serenity, MSC Musica and MSC?Poesia. Note also that many items of “fresh” fruit may have been treated with 1-MCP (methylcyclopropene) to make them last longer – apples, for example, may be up to a year old.

 A typical dayFrom morning till night, food is offered to the point of overkill, even aboard the most modest cruise ship. Aboard the large resort ships, pizzas, hamburgers, hot dogs, ice-cream and frozen yoghurt are almost always available. And if you’re still hungry, there’s 24-hour room service. Some ships also have extra-charge cafés and patisseries.If you prefer to eat at set times rather than graze, these are the options:l 6am: hot coffee and tea on deck for early risers (or late-to-bed types).l Full breakfast: typically with as many as 60 different items, in the main dining room. For a more casual meal, you can serve yourself buffet-style at an indoor/outdoor deck café, although the choice may be more restricted.l Lunchtime: with service in the dining room, buffet-style at a casual café, or at a separate grill for hot dogs and hamburgers, and a pizzeria, where you can watch the cooking.l 4pm: Afternoon tea, in the British tradition, complete with finger sandwiches and cakes. This may be served in a main lounge to the accompaniment of live music (it may even be a “tea-dance”) or recorded classical music.l Dinner: the main event of the evening, and apart from the casualness of the first and last nights, it is generally formal in style. l Light Bites: sometimes served in public rooms late at night. These have mostly replaced the traditional midnight buffet.l Gala Midnight Buffet: It’s almost extinct, but if there is one, it is usually held on the penultimate evening of a cruise when the chefs pull out all the stops. It features a grand, colorful spread, with much intricate decoration that can take up to 48 hours to prepare.

 Seating arrangmentsOn ships with open seating, you can sit at any available table, with whomever you wish, at any time within dining room opening hours – just like going out to a restaurant ashore. On ships without open seating, unless you are with your own family or group of friends, you will be seated next to strangers. It is the responsibility of the restaurant manager – who is also known as the maître d’hôtel – to seat you with compatible fellow passengers. If a reservation has been arranged prior to boarding, you will find a table assignment/seating card in your cabin when you embark. If not, make your reservation with the restaurant manager or one of his assistants as soon as you embark.Tables for two are a rarity; most tables seat four, six, or eight. It is a good idea to ask in advance to be seated at a larger table, because if you are a couple seated at a table for four and you don’t get along with your table partners, there is no one else to talk to. And remember, if the ship is full, it may be difficult to change tables once the cruise has started.Depending on the size of the ship, it may have one, two or four seatings:l Single Seating: you can choose when you wish to eat (within dining room hours) but have the same table assigned for the cruise.l Two Seatings: you are assigned (or choose) one of two seatings, early or late. Typical meal times for two-seating ships are: Breakfast: 6.30am–8.30am; Lunch: 12 noon–1.30pm; Dinner: 6.30pm–8.30pm. Some ships operate two seatings  for all meals and some just for dinner. Dinner hours may vary when the ship is in port to allow for the timing of shore excursions. Ships that operate in Europe and the Mediterranean or in South America may have later meal times.l Four Seatings: Only Carnival Cruise Lines operates four seatings – with dinner, for example, at 5.30pm, 6.45pm, 7.30pm or 8.45pm (except Carnival Legend, Carnival Miracle, Carnival Pride and Carnival Spirit, each with two seatings). You choose a time, and cannot change it later.  

The captain’s table

The captain usually occupies a large table in or near the center of the dining room on “formal” nights. The table seats eight or more people picked from the passenger or “commend” list by the hotel manager. If you are invited to the captain’s table, it is gracious to accept, and you will have the chance to ask all the questions you like about shipboard life.

 Alternative Dining“Alternative” restaurants are trendy, particularly aboard the large resort ships, and are ideal for escaping from huge, noisy dining halls and singing, table-dancing waiters. These are typically smaller, à la carte venues where you must make a reservation, and pay an extra charge of between $6 and $30 a person. In return, you get better food, wines, service and ambiance. The costs can soon add up, just as when you dine out ashore. As an example, take David’s Supper Club aboard Carnival Pride. The food is very good, and the ambiance is refined. But a couple having two glasses of decent wine each can, with the cover charge, easily end up paying $100 for dinner.  

Special needs Cruise lines tend to cater to general tastes. If you are allergic to any kind of ingredients (such as nuts or shellfish), do let the cruise line know in writing well ahead of time and, once on board, check with the restaurant manager. Vegetarians should make sure that soups are not made with a chicken stock, as many so-called ­“vegetarian” soups are. Menus are typically displayed outside the dining room each day so that you can preview each meal. Menus are delivered to suites.

 Plate service versus ­silver service

 Plate Service: When the food is presented as a complete dish, it is as the chef wants it to look. In most cruise ships, “plate service” is now the norm. It works well and means that most people seated at a table will be served at the same time and can eat together, rather than let their food become cold.
 Silver Service: When the component parts are brought to the table separately, so that the diner, not the chef, can choose what goes on the plate and in what proportion. Silver service is best when there is plenty of time, and is rare aboard today’s ships. What some cruise lines class as silver service is actually silver service of vegetables only, with the main item, whether it is fish, fowl, or meat, already on the plate.

 Self-serve buffetsMost ships have self-serve buffets for breakfast and luncheon (some also for dinner), one of the effects of discounted fares and dumbing down – and fewer staff are needed. Strangely, passengers don’t seem to mind lining up for self-service food (reminiscent of school lunches and army canteens). But while buffets look fine when they are fresh, they don’t after a few minutes of passengers helping themselves. And, one soon learns, otherwise sweet little old ladies can become ruthlessly competitive at opening time. Passengers should not have to play guessing games when it comes to food, but many cruise lines forget to put labels on food items; this slows down any buffet line. Labels on salad dressings, sauces, and cheeses would be particularly useful. What’s not good is that if you ask anyone behind the self-serve buffet counters what kind of apples are in the fruit bowl they haven’t a clue, “red” or “green” being the usual answer (red apples, for example, could be Braeburn, Egremont Russet, Gala, Pink Lady, Starking Delicious, or Worcester Pearmain). Staff should know – but seldom do – the most basic details about food on display.

 Healthy eatingIt’s easy to gain weight when cruising – but not inevitable. First, weight-conscious passengers should exercise self-restraint, particularly at the self-service buffets. Second, most ships have “heart-healthy” or “lean and light” options on the menu, or “spa” menus, with calorie-filled sauces replaced by spa cuisine. Third, there are plenty of opportunities for exercise, either in the spa or gym, on the jogging track often found above the main swimming pool deck, or by signing up for active shore excursions involving biking, hiking or river-rafting.If you are vegetarian, vegan, macrobiotic, counting calories, want a salt-free, sugar-restricted, low-fat, low-cholesterol, or any other diet, advise your travel agent when you book, and get the cruise line to confirm that the ship can meet your needs. Cruise ship food tends to be liberally sprinkled with salt, and vegetables are often cooked with sauces containing dairy products, salt, and sugar. Most cruise ships don’t cope well with those on vegan or macrobiotic diets who regularly need fresh-squeezed juices; most large resort ships use commercial canned or bottled juices containing preservatives and can’t provide really fresh juices in their bars.

 National differencesMost cruise lines feature mainly American-style cuisine, or cuisine that is often described as international, while more European-style cuisine is typically provided aboard the ships of European cruise lines (examples: Cunard Line, Fred Olsen Cruise Lines, Hebridean International Cruises, and P&O Cruises). Note that beef, lamb and pork cuts are different on both sides of the Atlantic, so what you ordered may not be quite the cut, shape or size you thought it was going to be.  For example, there are 15 British cuts of beef, 17 American cuts, and 24 French cuts. There are 6 American cuts of lamb, 8 British cuts, and 9 French cuts. There are 8 American cuts of pork, 10 British cuts, and 17 French cuts.While American passengers typically like iced water, or a jug of iced tea at lunch, most European passengers don’t like ice in their water, and few drink iced tea.If you care about cutlery, note that only a few cruise lines with large resort ships provide the correct, specially shaped fish knives, or the correct soup spoons (oval for thin bouillon-style soups and round for creamy soups).

  Dining room and kitchen staffCelebrity chefs make the headlines, but it’s the executive chef who plans the menus, orders the food, organizes his staff, and arranges all the meals on the menus. He makes sure that menus are not repeated, even on long cruises. On some cruises, he works with guest chefs from restaurants ashore to offer tastes of regional cuisine. He may also purchase fish, seafood, fruit, and various other local produce in “wayside” ports and incorporate them into the menu with a “special of the day” announcement. The Restaurant Manager – also known as the Maître d’Hôtel and not to be confused with the ship’s Hotel Manager – is an experienced host, with shrewd perceptions about compatibility. It is his responsibility to seat you with compatible fellow passengers. If a reservation has been arranged prior to boarding, you will find a table assignment or seating card in your cabin when you embark. If not, make your reservation with the restaurant manager or one of his assistants immediately after you embark.If you are unhappy with any aspect of the dining room operation, the sooner you tell someone the better. Don’t wait until the cruise is over to send a scathing letter to the cruise line – it’s too late then to do anything positive. The best waiters are those trained in European hotels or catering schools. They provide fine service and quickly learn your likes and dislikes. They normally work aboard the best ships, where dignified professionalism is expected and living conditions are good.Many lines contract the running and staffing of dining rooms to a specialist maritime catering organization. Ships that cruise far from their home country find that professional catering companies do a good job. However, ships that control their own catering staff and food often try very hard for good quality.

 Hygiene standardsGalley equipment is in almost constant use, and regular inspections and maintenance help detect potential problems. There is continual cleaning of equipment, utensils, bulkheads, floors, and hands.  Cruise ships sailing from or visiting US ports are subject to in-port sanitation inspections. These are voluntary, not mandatory inspections, based on 42 inspection items, undertaken by the United States Public Health (USPH) Department of Health and Human Services, under the auspices of the Centers for Disease Control. The cruise line pays for each ship inspection. A similar process takes place in Britain under the Port Health Authority, which has even more stringent guidelines and requirements. A tour of the galley proves to be a highlight for some passengers, when a ship’s insurance company permits. A video of Behind the Scenes, for use on in-cabin television, may be provided instead.In accordance with international standards, all potable water brought on board, or produced by distillation aboard cruise ships, should contain a free chlorine or bromine residual equal to or greater than 0.2 ppm (parts per million). This is why drinking water served in dining rooms often tastes of chlorine.